Get a Lump of Coal for Christmas!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 25, 2010 - 2:46pm

logoLump of Coal Portable 1.0 has been released. Lump of Coal is a versatile and seasonable item; it makes a great fire-lighter and also a great gift for others! (Especially put in stockings this Christmas.) It's packaged in PortableApps.com Format (external format for accessories) so it can easily integrate with the PortableApps.com Suite, Christmas Edition (Black Coal theme coming soon). And for a limited time, you can get your own Lump of Coal for free!

Read on for more details...

Features

Light a fire with coal, put it in a stocking, there are a million and one uses for a lump of coal. Although often considered out of fashion, the lump of coal has a distinct place in every household nowadays.

And now, for a limited time, PortableApps.com is offering FREE lumps of coal to help you celebrate Christmas! Come to our head office and claim your lump of coal today*!

Depending on the popularity of this item, we may make it generally available for purchase, however we are more likely to recommend that you buy your coal from an existing coal retailer. It will work just as well as ours, really (though not as fancily packed for portable use).

Learn more about Coal...

PortableApps.com Installer / PortableApps.com Format

Lump of Coal (Portable) is packaged in a PortableApps.com Installer (external format) so it will automatically detect an existing PortableApps.com installation when your drive is plugged in. It supports upgrades by automatically igniting when put into an already-lit fire, preserving the flame. And it's in PortableApps.com Format (external accessories variant), so it automatically works with most of the PortableApps.com Suite (in the current release, backup support is missing; once you burn it it's gone).

* While stocks last. Initial stock level is approximately zero lumps of coal. Sorry.

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Comments

Chris Morgan's picture

We hope you enjoy this. This initial release does leave some traces (black ones), but we had to hurry it out.

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Did I miss it? It's still Christmas here but I don't see a link to download the app. Or is this a joke and I'm not "getting it"?

BuddhaChu's picture

Maybe next year you guys can offer a more treehugger-friendly version of this program...perhaps Bottled Sunshine Portable 1.0beta?

Happy Festivus!

Cancer Survivors -- Remember the fight, celebrate the victory!
Help control the rugrat population -- have yourself spayed or neutered!

Chris Morgan's picture

Bottled Sunshine just isn't seasonable. Find me a solid reference to Bottled Sunshine in a storybook of at least thirty years of age as what bad people get at Christmas and we'll consider it.

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

sweepsnregs's picture

My didn't burn! I think it's so petrified to do any sort of burning!!! You can chargeback/credit to my card!

And I'm telling Mrs Claus about you trying to defraud the public!

thejahn's picture

You aint gettin nuttin' for Christmas 'cause you ain't been nuttin but bad.

Sincerly, an elf!

Not sure if anyone else is having this problem but shortly after installing my screen went black...

It takes some time, but if you get it running, this little thingy is hot as hell Wink ...

PS.: Just a hint, if you copy and paste it, it lasts longer.

Chris Morgan's picture

Just like you can't back it up (see the last paragraph), you can't copy and paste coal; external accessories don't tend to work very well like that. Good try, anyway.

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Is it open source? I refuse to use it otherwise. If it is, I'm having trouble finding the source. How can I compile it myself?

Tim Clark's picture

Begin Source:

Bury one or two medium sized dinosaurs in your backyard
Wait one Biblical Day (65 million years, give or take a millennium)
Dig up and cut into small portable sizes,
:2 Medium size dinosaurs should give you several hundred portable lumps of coal at least

End Source:

It is easier of course if you use the PortableApps Creator, which takes care of the 65 million year delay.
It must be noted of course that this is "A" creator of portable apps, not to be confused with a PortableVersion of "The" Creator, who is very jealous of his creations and keeps all rights unto himself Blum

Things have got to get better, they can't get worse, or can they?

John T. Haller's picture

I think there may be an issue with this build so I set a new one to compile. It should be ready in a few million years or so.

Sometimes, the impossible can become possible, if you're awesome!

I'm really waiting for the new and improved version 2.0. It's called "diamond".

P.S. Merry Christmas to John and the team and thanks for the Portable Applications you provide.

Michel Gagnon
Montréal (Québec, Canada)

tgrantt's picture

I heard that Coal 2.0 was closed-source, controlled by a consortium headed by the DeBeers Development Consortium. Cost exceeds value.

I am not my signature.

Chris Morgan's picture

Is that the patch to remove the black traces? Very good idea.

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Chris Morgan's picture

The new release is progressing as planned and seems at present to be on more or less on schedule. When it's ready, it'll work well with the PortableApps.com Platform 10.0.1 and will even fix a few Platform bugs somehow just by being there. Wink

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

vf2nsr's picture

In order to conform with the new standard set for in naming the new version of Portable Apps, I understand that this will renamed to
010011000111010101101101011100000010000001101111011001100010000001000011011011110110000101101100

Translator for those who need it

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” Dr. Seuss

vf2nsr's picture

But I have had a burning desire to make this portable for sometime, Hopefully I can use this multiple times. I understand that it has some drawbacks to its use but also that when used properly it lays a trail of smoke to its alternative. And as an added bonus some say this is as good as a diamond in the rough!

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” Dr. Seuss

I made sure to burn plenty of copies for my friends. Got to do my part in giving off more greenhouse gases... Wink

(and thanks for the source code... LOL)

Chris Morgan's picture

Apologies to customers who have misunderstood some details of this product; as observed in the article, "in the current release, backup support is missing; once you burn it it's gone". Your Lump of Coal is single use.

Also those customers who have complained that the coal has not lived up to their expectations, please be aware that the item is non-refundable; or more specifically, we're willing to give you back what you paid for it, but we don't want it! (Surely you noted the black smudges all over our office? We did warn you it left traces!)

I am a Christian and a developer and moderator here.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Being bored out of my skull on Xmas night, I put on my lab-coat and was experimenting with the concept of PortableApp hybrids, when I had a brainstorm. So I took Lump of Coal Portable 1.0 and further compressed it with 7-Zip Portable. Several minutes and a lot of hard drive grinding later, VOILA! I had successfully created...

Shock CubicZirconiaPortable 1.0 Shock !!!

>REALITY ERROR: UNIVERSE HALTED

Well done!
I am sure with the excellent developers around here a Diamond could be produced from this!

Merry Christmas!