Speed

I'd like a program that can speed up the computer by using my fast flash drive instead of virtual memory. I know about WinVista's "ReadyBoost" capabilities (like that'll work). The PC's at my school are older than my brother and sister! They run so slow, my toaster oven is faster (okay, i'm not comparing apples to apples, but it does take 10 minutes to have the PC download a picture of toast)! I know this isn't very feasible (I think), but it's worth a shot. Thanks.