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Ways to Make Fun of Brands

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digitxp
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Ways to Make Fun of Brands

I'll start:

GooGoo
Google (Tim's idea)
Micro$oft
Microsoft (classic)
Windoze
Windows
Dork Squad
Geek Squad
Worst Buy
Best Buy
Wind Not Vasta
Vista
YourFaceBook
Facebook
HisSpace
Myspace
The Great Firewall of China
No real brand
Google Beez/Büzz (pronounced Buez)
Google Buzz
Spontaneously Combusted Mail
Hot Mail
Because It's Not Google
Bing
Copywrong
Copyright

Your turn. Smile

José Pedro Arvela
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Alternatives:
Windows Beast-ah
Windows Vista
Windows 6.1
Windows 7

I'll come up with more... hopefully...

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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I think

I think if there was actually a "Windows Beast-ah", I would have to have it. Once you put the word "beast" in anything, Rule of Cool takes over and it automatically becomes awesome. Smile

Also, Windows 6.1 isn't making fun of 7, that's it's actual version number. And there's a reason for that: To maintain as much backwards compatibility with Vista as possible. If they'd made the version 7.0, then poorly programmed apps that check for Vista functionality by comparing against major version == 6 (unfortunately many lazy/incompetent programmers do this) would fail.

José Pedro Arvela
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That is because it is making fun

Saying Windows 6.1 instead of Windows 7 is making fun of it because it is a direct joke at Microsoft's marketing crew, it is a huge fail from their part to call that thing Windows 7 when it actually is Windows 6.1.

I didn't knew that the word beast activates the rule of cool tough, I need to point that down...

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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No, like I stated previously it was versioned as 6.1 for compatibility reasons. Otherwise it would have been 7.0.

José Pedro Arvela
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What I mean is that I know that

  1. I know it is a minor release;
  2. It was kept as Windows 6.1 for compatibility reasons.

But it still is a "phail" because:

  1. It was known that it was going to be kept as version 6.1 very much before the first betas, giving the possibility to choose a name other than Windows 7;
  2. Regardless of that, they decided to name it Windows 7 anyway, thus breaking their official vs unofficial version numbering, causing much confusion, and creating a false hope of distance from Vista, distance this which is non-existent.

So Microsoft screwed up big time, and I am perfectly making fun of Windows 7 when calling it Windows 6.1, and it is even funnier because it is true and it was a(n intended) "phail" from Microsoft marketing team.

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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,,,

Let's see our options here...

* Windows 6: Nope, Vista was Windows 6.
* Windows 6.1: Kind of odd calling a Windows release by its full version number again after all the more catchy titles...
* Windows <catchy word>: They kind of painted themselves into a corner with "Vista". That is, unless they decided to call it the aforementioned "Windows Beast". Biggrin

...so the only thing left to do is call it Windows 7, as Vista was 6 and they wanted to distance themselves from Vista (for obvious reasons), as you stated. 6 + 1 = 7, so to the average (Vista-hating) user it looks like a major release. So in that light, I think it was actually a smart move on the marketing department's part. I suppose that's why you used the tongue-in-cheek "phail" spelling instead of the correct "fail"?

To be fair however, Vista and 7, despite having basically the same core, are like the difference between night and day. I tolerated Vista; I love 7. I don't think I could ever go back to using XP on a regular basis at this point.

José Pedro Arvela
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;;;

Lets simply say then that is is a win or a fail depending on the point of view.

A win for MS marketing department. A fail because it doesn't reflect the truth (but what does reflect the truth nowadays?).

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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Yeah. Also remember though that lots of people have been using Win7 since the beta--as their primary operating system. I think that says a lot for the OS regardless of what it's called.

NathanJ79
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Misconceptions

First of all, Windows 7 was the code name, as Vista was Longhorn, XP was Whistler, and 2000 was Cairo. (Not sure but I think 98 was Memphis.) The Wii was code named Revolution, and the Gamecube was Dolphin. N64 was Ultra. (As in Ultra NES, the successor to the Super NES.) Why code names are so much more epic and awesome than the final name, I don't know. Except for Dolphin/Gamecube. And Vista was a good name.

Second, there is a lot of confusion (even with me) with the Windows versioning. But we all know, I would think, in what order they came out in. Windows 3.11 for Workgroups (not the first, just as far back as I'm going), Windows NT, Windows NT 4, Windows 2000, Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7. Or on the 9x side, Windows 3.1, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME. In both cases overlooking minor versions (Windows 97, officially "Microsoft Windows 95 Microsoft Internet Explorer", FTW!) and service packs.

Oh, and the Windows 7 betas and RC(s) were terrible. They're what made me hate Windows 7 for the longest time. Now that I have the final retail, I love it -- it works so much better, on my hardware at least.

Bruce Pascoe
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There was one official beta and one official RC. Both were extremely stable in my experience. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a BSoD in Win7, not even with the beta. If you were using the unofficial leaked builds, however, that would be a different story. I avoided those like the plague--I figured if MS wanted me to test those, they'd have made them available on their own website.

IIRC Windows 7 was always the official name. W7's codename was originally Blackcomb, then changed to Vienna.

Also Windows for Workgroups wasn't actually part of the NT line, that's a myth. It's actually the same OS as Windows 3.1, just with some extra 32-bit and networking stuff tacked on under the hood.

José Pedro Arvela
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Actually, Windows 7 was originally codenamed as Windows Blackcomb or Vienna during the periods of Windows Longhorn (Windows Vista's codename). Then, with the release of Windows Vista, its codename then became Windows 7. But later on, they made a press conference and announced that Windows 7 would officially be called... Windows 7.

From Wikipedia (#)

Originally, a version of Windows codenamed Blackcomb was planned as the successor to Windows XP (codename Whistler) and Windows Server 2003. Major features were planned for Blackcomb (...) However, an interim, minor release, codenamed "Longhorn," was announced for 2003, delaying the development of Blackcomb.

(...)

Blackcomb was renamed Vienna in early 2006 and again Windows 7 in 2007. In 2008, it was announced that Windows 7 would also be the official name of the operating system.

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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Ah

Ah, okay. Hadn't realized that. I suspect a big reason for the decision, however, other than the 6 + 1 logic (which definitely played into it), was just for the "lucky 7" puns. Blum

Darkbee
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Marketing is your friend

I'm sure there's all kind of reasons. You could argue that "Windows 7" is simplicity, no fancy code-name, or gimmicky words. It was probably best for Microsoft that they try to distance the Windows 7 product from Vista as much as possible. Calling it "Windows Panorama" or something would have just seemed like more of the same (cr@p) to consumers.

Windows 7 is supposed to be more friendly and simpler to use, not another Vista in disguise.

I'm also sure there HAS be a connection with it and the Brad Pitt/Morgan Freeman movie. Obviously. Biggrin

NathanJ79
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If MS wanted you to?

Bruce PascoeThere was one official beta and one official RC. Both were extremely stable in my experience. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a BSoD in Win7, not even with the beta. If you were using the unofficial leaked builds, however, that would be a different story. I avoided those like the plague--I figured if MS wanted me to test those, they'd have made them available on their own website.

Yes, I have and tested both of those, and they lagged badly after a couple hours of use. Then again, my system is barely past the requirements, but it runs the final Home Premium fine. Maybe the Ultimate version in the beta and RC added more than I could handle. Doubt it, but maybe. Never tried the leaked builds. A leaked build of the Xbox 360 OS ("Dashboard") hit the net in '08, and it broke Xbox Live for 3 weeks. But unlike a Windows beta, it was a permanent patch, could not be removed. So I wanted no part of a leaked build. (Microsoft said they only authorized certain people to use the updated OS, but their DRM was and is more than capable of enforcing that... instead the patch installed on any Xbox it came in contact with, whether you loaded it on a flash drive or CD-ROM.

As for what Microsoft wants, I think they'd have people test more stuff if they could get publicity for it. I don't believe for a second that anyone at Microsoft loses any sleep over pirates "stealing" the interim betas -- the more people pointing out what's wrong, the better. And that's more geeks using Windows (albeit stolen Windows) which means fewer going over to Linux.

Darkbee
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a few suggestions
PortablePrapps.com
Prapper goes rogue Shock
Windows Ate... (my homework, my pet monkey etc etc.)
The as yet unreleased Windows 8
iTuneOut (or iTunedOut)
Apple's iTunes
Crapple
Apple Corporation
OliverK
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I like crapple

I like crapple Smile

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alpha1
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A few

A few contributions:
Copyleft
Spyspace
Microsuck Windblows
snotMail

I've got others that aren't exactly forum appriotiate too. Ask me outside the forums for those. Smile

Lead, Follow, or get out of the way.

José Pedro Arvela
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Copyleft actually exists

Copyleft is exactly the opposite of copyright, public domain. So it is not making fun of brands.

oh, I remembered of one!

Uncreative Commons
Creative Commons

(I do use Creative Commons for licensing my texts, but I don't mind making fun of brands I like)

Blue is everything.

Bruce Pascoe
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...

No, copyleft is NOT public domain. A copyleft license is still a copyright license and uses copyright law for enforcement, it just has a completely different intent from "traditional" copyright.

Public domain means no copyright at all.

José Pedro Arvela
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My mistake

I should have said what you said, but I didn't. Blum I also was not sure. So sorry for my crude mistakes (they're getting worse and worse... ).

Blue is everything.

Oni-Neoxes
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lol

Nubix
Linux

lol, see what happens with 3 seconds and trying to avoid cussing... Blum

OliverK
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To each his own. Or, mine,

To each his own.
Or, mine, Mepis. Don't need any help there!

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

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OliverK OliviaK
OliverK
OliviaK
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heh. I'll act like I don't

heh. I'll act like I don't remember you saying that. I think I registered that nick for my bot though.

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

alpha1
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Now see, thats just mean,

Now see, thats just mean, uncalled for and quite wrong. I'd ask a mod to delete that if i were you.

Lead, Follow, or get out of the way.

gluxon
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I'm just joking with Oliver

I'm just joking with Oliver Blum

OliverK
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jokes of this manner are not

jokes of this manner are not appreciated and are rather in bad taste.

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

OliverK
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Microshaft Blista

Microshaft Blista

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

digitxp
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..
Twitful
Twitter
Lump
Lamp (Oh yes I did it...)
iTube by Apple }:)
Youtube

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NathanJ79
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Not a fan

I'm not a fan of most of these. "Micro$oft" is too obvious and completely hypocritical. If you disagree, give your paycheck back to your boss and tell him you're not like Microsoft, that you don't want to be paid for your work. LOL.

Still, some are funny. I call the goth pop band Evanescence "Evanuisance". I call Facebook "Farcebook" sometimes. Like a farce, and if you make the C an S, it includes the British word for... well, you get the idea. MySpace becomes MeatSpace, but again, a little too obvious. And Apple has been Crapple for years. "Crapple" is almost old enough to vote.

"The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they make a vacuum cleaner" is an old one of mine. I didn't write it, but I've been saying it for years, despite the fact that Windows XP, the Xbox 360, Xbox Live, and Windows 7 have all reinforced my appreciation of Microsoft (although Vista and Office after Office XP have greatly strained it).

"Because It's Not Google". Brilliant. But I'm a fan of Google, so I don't care much for or about Bing.

Bruce Pascoe
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...

Win7 is awesome, and if you think Office after XP sucked, you should try the Office 2010 beta. It's really nice. Very fast and responsive, too--startup time averages a couple seconds in my experience, even on my grandparents' old Celeron machine with Win7 (yes, I installed Win7 on a five-year-old designed-for-XP Celeron--and it actually had Vista before that. I'm a baaaadddd man. :P).

Sorry I don't have much to contribute in terms of making fun of names. That's just not my thing. Although I'm pretty sure "Because It's Not Google" is actually meant ironically--i.e. it's not actually a compliment for Bing.

By the way, Nathan, what does your signature mean?

computerfreaker
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Office >= 2007 = ribbon = bad

Any MS Office thing after Office 2007, IIRC, has the Ribbon control. I've seen it, I've even used it on my library's computers, and it is bad to use. Wouldn't use it again unless somebody paid me to.

btw, Nathan's signature is the numbers from Lost: http://thelostnumbers.blogspot.com/

"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

OliverK
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Eh.. They made some things

Eh.. They made some things easier to find, in my opinion. I was a lab assistant for almost 3 years.

On the other hand, they made some things just ridiculously difficult to get to.

And, sadly, AutoCad 2009 switched to the ribbin interface as well. At least they made it carbon themed. And left the command line.

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

computerfreaker
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Re:

OliverKEh.. They made some things easier to find, in my opinion. I was a lab assistant for almost 3 years.

Not to challenge your experience, but I've got to disagree.
It took me 10 minutes to find the "Print" function; turns out it was in a round Office icon that I would never have taken for a menu or anything but eye candy.

OliverKOn the other hand, they made some things just ridiculously difficult to get to.

Like, everything? (Well, at least I could find the Open and Save functions in a reasonable time period)

"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

OliverK
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you didn't just use Ctrl+P

you didn't just use Ctrl+P for printing? I use as many hot keys as possible.

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

computerfreaker
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Meh

Forgot about that; I generally use hotkeys for tasks I do frequently (e.g. Ctrl+T for a new tab in Firefox, Ctrl+O for opening a file, Ctrl+S for saving a file), but I don't print very often (once a month is typical).

"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

digitxp
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Print

Yeah, actually the office folks said that in their blog a while ago, and they're changing it on '10.
In my opinion, it's great, especially the new graphics engine, that's just awesome. If you saw the 2010 animation renderings, you'll wonder where they get this stuff.
Oh, and one more blog post why the Ribbon is awesome.
(Sorry if I sound like a fanboi :P)
Guide to Office '07

Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.

Bruce Pascoe
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Unlike 2007, Office 2010 lets

Unlike 2007, Office 2010 lets you customize the ribbon, so if stuff you use a lot is hard to find in the default configuration, you can fix that. Personally, I love the ribbon. Much better than the mess of menus and toolbars that existed in 2003 and earlier.

NathanJ79
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Office XP was simple

Bruceif you think Office after XP sucked, you should try the Office 2010 beta.

Office XP was simple, and it was the last version to feature Microsoft Photo Editor, which I used for *years*. My biggest gripe with Office 2003 was that it swapped Photo Editor for Picture Manager, which I *did not* like at all. I do like how O2k3 highlighted columns and rows in Excel and had similar GUI enhancements. Now that I've traded MSPE for XnView, I probably wouldn't hate O2k3 as much.

As for the ribbon, I actually like it, but it's just so new to me.

It's all just that MS Office has been the epitome of bloatware for years, including Office XP. When I'd install Office XP, until muscle memory took over, I'd spend about ten minutes going through and making sure everything I wanted was checked and everything I didn't want wasn't. Like, what is Microsoft Graph? I don't need that. Or the Office shortcut bar.

OpenOffice would be OK if it started up in under a minute. But it looks like where MS Office was ten years ago. Writer and Calc are fine but I don't need all the extras, and with OO.o you can't really omit the features you don't need. Still, I use it because it's free.

BruceBy the way, Nathan, what does your signature mean?

This was already answered -- it is the LOST numbers. Starting in the second season and going through the third or fourth season (fourth, I think), every 108 minutes, someone had to type those numbers into a 1970s-era PC "or the world would end". (Also, the numbers add up to 108. There are other coincidences involving them, too.) Before the first number is what the PC had for a command prompt and EXECUTE was what the computer had instead of an ENTER key. It really is a brilliant show; I think, one of the three best serials of the decade (with 24 and the Battlestar Galactica remake). The first season was a bland story made great by amazing writing, and each season got progressively better in terms of story, though the writing dropped off a bit.

Bruce Pascoe
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...

Office 2010 apps start up literally in seconds, even from a cold boot. And you can customize the ribbon now, which is even better. You should try it while it's still in beta and therefore free. Smile

NathanJ79
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No thanks

Nah, don't want to get tied into payware any more than I am. And I've never had a problem with MS Office startup times, only OpenOffice. Besides, a full office suite is much more than I need, and I keep OpenOffice around for those times I do need one. It's the portable version from this site, so I don't even need to install it when I reinstall Windows. It's just there on another hard drive, and its shortcut comes to the desktop with the others I have archived. First thing I do is copy them all over. Can't get MS Office portable, at least not legally, and I don't want to run afoul of the law (or pay for what I can get the same mileage out of for free).

Bruce Pascoe
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Here's one.

Okay, enough off-topic-ness from me (sorry about that guys!), here's my contribution:
Fatterfox = Firefox

...man, I miss the Firesomething extension... Sad

Darkbee
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the old ones are the best

old one but in keeping with some of the discussion...

Microsoft Orifice
Microsoft Office
José Pedro Arvela
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Other ones!
The most boring thing possible to see in a theater
Opera (web browser)
Geeez... mail...
Gmail
Internet Exploder (this one is classical)
Internet Explorer

(I do like some operas, but it depends... Blum
And I absolutely love Gmail)

Blue is everything.

NathanJ79
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...

Internet Exploiter Wink

computerfreaker
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Internet Exploder

Nice one! I just drove my younger, IE-fanboy brother nuts by renaming IE on his desktop. He was quite "delighted", so life is going to be interesting for the next week or so. }:)

"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

gluxon
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Heh I made that program a
agdurrette
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your dl link is not working

your dl link is not working

"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."

Bruce Pascoe
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lol

That wa funny, gluxon. "IE has been terminated. Never use this again, use Firefox instead." Classic. Biggrin

Darkbee
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iPed

Not exactly making fun of a brand directly but is there such a thing as:

an iPed? (iPedestrian)
A zitty Mac Fan-boi teen, that walks down the street with his iPod full-blast, completely oblivious to the existence of the real world.
digitxp
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Comcast
Comcrap
Comcast alpha1beta's idea
LostForEverNote
Evernote

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computerfreaker
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Com**** = fail

I love your Comcast corruption; I've carried a grudge against them ever since they blocked Giorgio Maone's sites. Good to hear somebody else is belting them too.

"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

digitxp
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Facebook
Harmville
Farmville

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Darkbee
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I once heard a daytime soap

I once heard a daytime soap talking about:

FaceSpace
Facebook and MySpace combined.

I assume for legal/financial reasons they couldn't mention either brand directly. It amused me, mildly.

Bruce Pascoe
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Ridiculous

You know, that's so stupid it's pathetic. Nowadays you can't even MENTION a trademark without having to pay royalties out the wazoo.

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Rediculous but...

yeah but the beautiful irony is, we know EXACTLY what they're talking about. There's always a way around the system. Wink

digitxp
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Oatmeal

I actually saw The Oatmeal do a mockup of that... here.

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digitxp
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Apple
iPay
iPad
iPee
iPod

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digitxp
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..
Missed
Target
Waldead
Walgreen
Amazon Burning
Amazon Kindle
But who!
Yahoo
Google HadSense
Google Adsense

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gluxon
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Last seen: 3 years 10 months ago
Developer
Joined: 2008-06-21 19:26
I like Google HadSense

I like Google HadSense Blum

digitxp
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Last seen: 12 years 10 months ago
Joined: 2007-11-03 18:33
...
Crapple
Apple [Source]

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NathanJ79
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Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 2007-07-31 15:07
Modern "Bore"fare 2

I've seen "Modern Borefare 2" (sometimes written "Modern Borfare 2") being used online a lot (typically by gamers who hate shooters and thus despise arguably the best). I just got Modern Warfare 2 for the 360, and though I die a lot (online, not so much single player) I stick with it and have been playing it more and more. Ironically, I've been throwing "Modern Borefare 2" around a lot at home...

Also when my wife was drunk one night she referred to Rock Band as something dirty. Completely accidental. Involved rhyming the first word. Which is great because she's among the biggest fans of the game/program.

spg SCOTT
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Last seen: 12 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 2008-08-26 14:11
Being a xbox player I play

Being a xbox player I play it, and recently, I have had that feeling with the game, which is probably attributed to another one that one of my friends came up with...

Modern Campfare 2...

(not to mention the broken respawns :()

Another one to add to this list:

My teacher always refers to Wikipedia as Wrongipedia... Smile

“There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!”Richard Feynman

Darkbee
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Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 2008-04-14 09:41
Thoroughly Unimpressed

Given all these false positives we can probably add

McCrappee
McAfee

to the list.

Debray6379
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Last seen: 14 years 5 days ago
Joined: 2009-05-04 05:19
internet explorer

internet exploder

bigpuss
bigpond broadband

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