The includes in Spybot Portable are old. Here is how to update them:
Go to Safer Networking's download page, which has the Detection Updates -
http://www.safer-networking.org/en/spybotsd/index.html
DL the and run the latest spybotsd_includes.exe
This opens a dialog box, where you can browse to where your portable spybot is. It's likely to be here (fill in your own drive letter) -
K:\PortableApps\SpybotPortable\App\Spybot\
After install, browse to the App\Spybot folder, now look in the includes folder, and you should see newer files.
If you want to cut down the size of the app, you can probably delete the TeaTimer.exe file, as you most likely won't be using Teatimer portably. You can also delete all the *.scr files in a portable install, for 11 MB wasted space reclaimed.
The in-app updater works just fine. The launcher portablizes it.
Sometimes, the impossible can become possible, if you're awesome!
I believe the *.scr files are actually duplicated Spybot executables so that in the event some malicious software tries to block Spybot it (or the user) can still run the executables via the SCR files. (screensaver files are simply EXEs with the extension renamed anyway). Not sure if these files would actually be used in the Portable version though, so it is possible that you might be able to remove them without detriment. I just wanted to make the point that they do serve a legitimate purpose.