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Corrupt-A-Wish Season X

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Bruce Pascoe
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Wish granted

It went in an even worse direction...

I wish I was king of the world!

horusofoz
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Wish granted

You were king for 2.3 seconds before I lead a revolt that usurped your crown and handed it to me in stewardship until the UN was ready to govern the world as a whole.

I wish to have a look at Bruce's story

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Bruce Pascoe
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Here you go!

http://stashbox.org/297714/Storyline.txt
Wish granted, but it was only an outline and wasn't finished...

I wish I could finish it soon!

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but you were in a black hole so it was like 6 bajillion years to us till it was done Biggrin

i wish all of my visual basic commands would work on my schoo comps (like "call shell ("Shutdown /r")" for some reason only Shutdown /l works)

Zoop

TaffinFoxcroft
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wish granted, but then the

wish granted, but then the system admin got smart and blocked VB6 executables.
i wish sergentsiler would realise that the command should be "call shell("shutdown -r")" (or just do an API call (like the one linked), which wouldn't depend on shutdown.exe being there).

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

it is an api call (i am taking a vb.net course in school, and that is a proper api call and as far as i know it isnt dependant on shutdown.exe (which is in the comps at my school, i have seen it). also, if it was dependant on shutdown.exe, then why does "Call Shell("Shutdown /L")" work (logoff) Biggrin

i wish i knew why people still try to use vb6 since it isnt supported anymore

Zoop

Bruce Pascoe
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Wish granted

But the truth was too much to handle and caused your head to a splode! Blum

I wish foobar2000 was open source.

Mir
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Wish Granted but there

Wish Granted but there becomes a better music player that has all the features of Foobar2k and uses it addons as well as WinAmp's plugins making the now obsolite foobar pointless.

I wish that i had something that plays SPC and midi files.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but it was only OSS for a half a second Biggrin

i wish VB.net was just a little easier to code (even thogh it is really easy already)

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

But a new version was released that cost $12,000US per annum to use and $20,000US for each application distribution. It also broke all backward compatability and and all previous versions became payware.

I wish there was more time in the day.

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Tim Clark
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Wish Granted, A day is now 3

Wish Granted,

A day is now 3 years long Smile
The Alpha will be out tomorrow Sad

I wish that if we are going to keep corrupt a wish going that people would come up with truly good corruptions, instead of just saying anything that pops into their heads Biggrin

Things have got to get better, they can't get worse, or can they?

horusofoz
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lol - Good Corruption :-)

lol - Good Corruption Smile

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MaienM
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Your wish was granted,

Your wish was granted, but corrupt a wish just died because no one can think of any truly good corruptions.

I wish...... I had some chocolate!!! (lame wish, I know)

Behold, the DutchLander has arrived.
Grammatical errors are copyrighted.

Bruce Pascoe
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Wish granted

You got the chocolate. But then Taffin's friend ate it...

I wish I had a 1TB flash drive. Smile

Tim Clark
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Wish Granted

Wish Granted

But the person who gave it to you did not understand your abbreviation and so gave you a flash drive with ThunderBird 1.0 Sad

Your corruption and wish were so lame that I wish you were a Mod so you could delete it Blum

Things have got to get better, they can't get worse, or can they?

MaienM
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Wish granted. However, Bruce

Wish granted.
However, Bruce abused his powers and removed all mods, and banned all users.... you just killed pa.c

I wish..... the ipod touch 2g could be jailbroken.....

Behold, the DutchLander has arrived.
Grammatical errors are copyrighted.

Bruce Pascoe
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lol

Wish granted, but then someone made a malicious jailbreak hack that caused your iPod to explode and destroy everything in a 200 mile radius whenever you played any song by an artist starting with "B" (for bomb).

I wish there was anti-virus software that not only deleted the virus, but could also hire a hitman to have the person who programmed the virus assassinated!

Oh, and Tim: My corruption probably would have been funnier if you got the reference (Hint: Check Page 2 of this thread). It probably still wasn't that funny, but hey, at least I tried. Wink

solanus
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Wish granted...

and the hitman successfully killed all the virus makers, which destroyed their mothers' hearts and brought a lot of unnecessary suffering into the world; moreover, one of the virus programmers was an 8-year old kid who never did anything wrong except to make a silly trojan that replaced the word "me" with "Santa Claus" in Microsoft Word documents, and would have otherwise grown up as a great humanitarian and genius who was able to adapt the Open Source mentality into a new economic model that brought equality and peace to the entire world, had he not been killed by the hitman; finally, the last virus programmer, before he died, found your wish on this post and figured out who you are, and sent an e-mail to all the grieving mothers with your address, and then they all showed up at your house and you went crazy with guilt.
(How's THAT for a corruption!)

I wish I could lose this last 10 lbs so that I could become a professional modern dancer.

I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.

gluxon
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Wish Granted...

But then you became so tall your head reached a tv satalite and accidently destroyed it, thus, getting people who have comcast cable very angry and suing comcast.

I wish I knew how to delete a folder with NSIS

TaffinFoxcroft
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wish granted, but before

wish granted, but before someone told you it was RMDir, everyone was taught to read the NSIS manual.
I wish i had a laptop better than a thinkpad from the 80's.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

it was a thinkpad from the 90's Biggrin

i wish people who theme for the PAM would link there sites on My Themers List Biggrin

Zoop

Bruce Pascoe
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Wish granted

But then you had an influx of crappy themes because everyone and their mother was adding themselves to the list...

I wish there weren't so many corrupted wishes. Sad

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

there were too many corrupted wishes :D!

i wish n00bs would stop requsting portable operating systems because it is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying

Zoop

Bruce Pascoe
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Wish granted

They started requesting portable computers instead. *is evil*

I wish the smilies would work on the PortableApps.com forums again. Sad

solanus
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Wish granted...

and everyone was deliriously happy, and everything was sunshine and lemonade and tiny bluebirds landing on your shoulder to whistle in harmony with you, and your best gal took you on a summer picnic where even the ants were friendly, and the economy straightened itself out and the Chinese forgave all our debt, and we got free health care and education, and ice cream was no longer fattening, and you laughed all day while tiny cherubs fluttered around your head.

I wish I could finish getting my Joomla install to work so that my users can update their own dang site!

I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.

Bruce Pascoe
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That wasn't a corruption...

That wasn't a corruption... that was an anti-corruption if I ever I saw one!

Wish granted, but then your server went down because it was overloaded due to too much bandwidth being used by all your users!

I wish email services had tags so that you can tag your emails for easy searching later on.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but it cost $660000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Biggrin

i wish ahk portable dev would allow you to run scripts without having compiling it into an exe

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

The new release with this feature came with a 12,000 page user agreement which they everybody agreed to without reading. Exactly 10 years later Beelzebub (Lucifer{Satan[The big bad red guy with the horns]}) knocked on your door with a copy of the agreement. You look at him petrified. He then begins to laugh as he flips to the page where it stipulates your soul belongs to him. He takes you down to hell where he sits you at a seat with spikes, orders a demon to begin whipping you, chains you to a desk and says "Welcome to Microsoft" Blum (just kidding I like Windows even if I think companies like Microsoft and Adobe have taken capitalism to the extreme where it can be identified with exploitationism.

I wish I didn't have work tomorrow.

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OliverK
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on a side note, use Cafe

on a side note, use Cafe

Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

you have to work NOW Biggrin

i wish for berdigger Biggrin

Zoop

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but no one responded because OliverK had a " " Sidenote " "

i wish moar people would put themselves on the themer list i started Here Biggrin

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

But the thread got deleted by a mad hacker.

I wish for a weekend of peace.

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sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but it was followed by 2 weeks of hell }:D

i wish my mom would get me an HP NC6000 Biggrin

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

But it was dodgy NC6000 that shut down every 12 minutes after start up and your mother bought it from a guy who bought it from a guy who found it after "it fell off the back of a truck" so there was no warranty and Absolutely No returns or refunds.

I wish someone would make an official Glest Portable

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sergentsiler
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Wish granted...

but i dont know what glest is so i epicly phailed in making it portable (not that i can make anything portz anyway :D)

i wish i had a 20" lcd panel in place of my 15" crt

Zoop

José Pedro Arvela
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Wish Granted

But half of the pixels were dead in the most inconvenient places, so you weren't able to do nothing with it. And as you bought it on ebay you were now broke (because you were low on cash) and now you can't get a refund.

I wish aMSN 2 gets done FAST!

Blue is everything.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but it wasnt made portable because they werent oss }:D

i wish mai interwebz at mai house worked better Sad

Zoop

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but only for a few hours Sad

i wish my internet connection would not cut out in mid chat on the irc and force me to wait till i got to school to tell everyone that i am still alive Sad

Zoop

Geek45
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Granted...

but then your computer explodes. D'OH!

I wish that I could get a case for my amazing headphones.

!!

gluxon
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Wish Granted...

But then your headphones were stolen. So then you threw away the case and set out to find the stealer of your head phones (me, but you don't know that :P)...

I wish I could get a germ cleaner to clean my new head phones.

Geek45
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Granted...

but then I come and steal my headphones back...

I wish I had money.

!!

gluxon
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Wish Granted...

But then I stole your money (but you don't know that :P).

I wish I had something to buy with my money.

sergentsiler
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wish granted

it is a jar of dead babies Biggrin

i wish my net would work already Sad (at my friends house)

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

Your internet worked for 0.23 seconds Blum

I wish PortableApps.com could produce dome more games, not just for my personal use but as I think it will enhance PortableApps.com's popularity.

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solanus
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Wish granted

and the first game created was an online version of Magister Ludi, but since it required people to not only know who Herman Hesse was, but also to read his WHOLE novel, it frightened everyone away from Portable Apps, and they had their brains removed and offered up to the great gods Microsoft and Apple, because it was easier than thinking.

I wish for peace on earth without bombs.

I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

A radical group of animal welfare activists formulate a new biological formula that was lethal to humans but harmless to all other species. They administered the chemical into all the worlds major rivers and water systems. The formula had devastating effects and wiped out humanity within weeks (During which miraculously none of the superpowers blamed each other and the bombs stayed in their silos). All that was left were the animals. Dolphins evolved into an amphibious specie and became a peaceful civilisation that did not build, mine or pollute. Nature reclaimed the cities and towns and the tumultuous time of humanity was forgotten as the earth and all it's living creature lived together in peace. Oh and they all became vegetarian Blum

I wish the millionaire that funds the Ubuntu project could get interested in PortableApps.com

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Geek45
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Granted, he buys

Granted, he buys portableapps.com and then kills it. dang.

I wish my mom would let me put linux on my computer...

!!

solanus
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Wish granted

but then Windows 7 came out and your mom insisted on installing that; unfortunately, it required that you have a computer with a Flux Capacitor, which you can't afford, and that the computer is moving at 88 miles per hour; but she tried to install it anyway, and wiped out all your files.

I wish more people would help Dannil with his Portable Apps for Linux!

P.S. Horusofoz, have you read Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut?

I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but then everyone's flash drive blew up Sad

i wish my mom would hurry up and sign up for my dsl service already

(btw all, i should be online more often now that i am back in school and now that i am getting dsl instead of a h4x3ord wifi connection off of my neigbor :D)

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

But there was some nasty clauses in the contract fine print that lead caused your mother to pay exorbitant fees where she had to sell your computer. Unfortunately she signed for a 12 month contract so you had to work 12 hours a day 7 days a week in a shoe making sweatshop just to pay for the internet you didn't get to use. At the end of the 12 months of just scraping by to pay the bills you get an opportunity to use a pc but find after all the labour in the shoe factory/sweatshop your fingers have lost their nimbleness and you can no longer use a keyboard and mouse:-p

I wish Cafe MOD/Expresso could be made a priority by the lead PA devs.

PS. Solanus - Hadn't heard of it. Wiki makes it sound alright. Maybe i should be an author:-)

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sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but then no other apps were ever developed, evahrr!!

i wish i could get 2Gb PC-800-45 ram for under $6-bajillion

Zoop

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

You find one for $5.99999999 bajillion

I Alcohol 120% could be updated to image Call of Duty 4

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sergentsiler
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wish granted....

but seeing as u diddnt technically wish for that (u said "I Alcohol") it would image but as the My Little Pony game }:D

i wish for a better processor, running F@H takes a long time compared to my grandmas tri-core.

(mine takes 12 hours to get 180/1500 WU when my grandmas tri-core will punch that out in 20 mins)

Zoop

kai.inouye
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Wish Granted, but your hard

Wish Granted, but your hard drive failed.

I wish for a quad core prossesor.

TaffinFoxcroft
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wish granted, but 3 and a

wish granted, but 3 and a half cores were dead.
i wish for open source mobile phone games.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Geek45
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Granted...

But then they all explode...

I wish for marshmallows...

!!

gluxon
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Wish Granted..

But I stole the Marsh Mallows (But you don't know that :P)

I wish more people would play corrupt-a-wish over here too

http://gluxon.000hosted.com/drupal/node/13

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but then ur site blew up D:

i wish my ram for my comp would get here already, i ordered it and it was supposed to be here yesterday :/

Zoop

gluxon
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Wish Granted...

But then your ram died Blum

I wish SergentSiler didn't use the reply button so I could fix the link!!!

http://gluxon.co.cc/node/13

sergentsiler
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wish granted...

but ur site is still offline so i cant see that link (>

Zoop

gluxon
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Wish Graned...

But then He got SergentSileratidous and died Sad

I wish ptmb was here right now Sad

José Pedro Arvela
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Wish Granted...

...but I got gluxonitis, that caused me a laryngitis and I couldn't speak.

I wish you told what you meant with "here".

Blue is everything.

gluxon
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Here as in not dead :P

I got my with Blum

I wish for bob the builder to make me a fairy.

solanus
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Yes we CAN!

Wish granted, but he made you a tooth fairy, so you had to go out every night and collect nasty rotten teeth, and leave money, but the job didn't pay well enough for you to afford all those quarters, so you used your fairy powers to rob a bank, but you got caught, and now you are stuck in jail with a guy named spike... and you are still a fairy! YIKES!

I wish the new menu would come out soon, with all the cool features!

I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.

gluxon
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Wish Granted...

Wish Granted... but I'm a tooth fairy not a fairy that grants wishes Sad Too bad for you Blum If you didn't make me a tooth fairy then you would have the menu by now Blum

I wish for a dollar

José Pedro Arvela
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Wish Granted...

...but as you were the tooth fairy, you had to give it to all the toothless kids.

I wish I had a teeth contraband deal with gluxon and a dentist.

Blue is everything.

gluxon
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But...

Then 1 second afterwards you died.

I wish for a robot that sings in the shower.

jimmy72
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but

Then you showered with it and got electrocuted.

I wish i had a million dollars.

I don't have a short attention span. I just...oh look a kitty!

sergentsiler
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Wish Granted...

but the dollar lost its value Blum

i wish for more stuff Biggrin

Zoop

ninja_dan
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Wish Granted...

It was 'stuff' that came from a baboons butt. Brown, disgustingly weird stuff, that you tasted and got AIDS. Then, while with your mates, you farted and gave them AIDS. Now they hate you. And the whole of the world kicked you out like you were Osama Bin Laden. Luckily for you, they forgot to give you a spacesuit, so you died out in space. Because you gave your friends AIDS, you went to Hell, and farted, now every second of the day, the devil whips you about the place, and God laughs at you.

I wish I didnt have homework.

horusofoz
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Wish Granted

Instead your the Devil whipping SergeantSiler Biggrin

I wish someone would please please make a portable launcher for Picasa.

Please!

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horusofoz
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Wish Granted

My Wish Was Really Granted. Jammiii created a launcher for Picasa Smile

Sorry but no corruption on that so I wish...It was my pay day Smile

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sergentsiler
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Wish not granted...

NO CORRUPTION FOR YOU!

i wish my ethernet cable would show up already so i can stop complaining about it and have my desktop on teh interwebz already Blum

Zoop

TaffinFoxcroft
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wish granted, but you had to

wish granted, but you had to add z to the end of every URL.
I wish the PortableApps.com windows theme would work on vista.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

lfluff0001
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wish granted

Wish Granted, but then vista is replaced with windows 98.

I wish that Netscape updated their browser.

"Variables won't; constants aren't."

TaffinFoxcroft
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Joined: 2006-12-14 17:24
Wish granted, but it only

Wish granted, but it only worked on high-end vista machines, which ironically now run windows 98.
I wish i had red alert 2.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

jimmy72
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Last seen: 11 years 9 months ago
Joined: 2008-09-21 07:25
but...

But then (like me) you forgot what that was.
I wish that my computer wasn't 11 years old!1!

I don't have a short attention span. I just...oh look a kitty!

jimmy72
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Last seen: 11 years 9 months ago
Joined: 2008-09-21 07:25
but...

But then (like me) you forgot what that was.
I wish that my computer wasn't 11 years old!!!

I don't have a short attention span. I just...oh look a kitty!

José Pedro Arvela
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Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 2007-07-10 07:29
Wish Granted...

It was 22 years old!

I wish I had wished a wish.

Blue is everything.

sergentsiler
sergentsiler's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 2007-02-28 11:37
Wish granted...

your wish was not to wish a wish Wink

i wish i could stop being braindead lately :/

Zoop

TaffinFoxcroft
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Last seen: 9 years 2 months ago
Developer
Joined: 2006-12-14 17:24
wish granted, but now you're

wish granted, but now you're were being brainzombied.
I wish my friend would stop playing my adventure quest account.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

sergentsiler
sergentsiler's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 2007-02-28 11:37
Wish granted...

but instead he ate your face Shock

i wish the guy that was sending me the ethernet cable i was wating for didnt send it through mediamail so that it didnt arrive today, 3 weeks late and instead arrived on time a few weeks ago Biggrin

Zoop

daBomb69
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Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 2009-02-09 21:49
Wish Granted

Your ethernet cables arrived 5 days before you ordered them, but then they broke after 2.3 seconds, and you couldn't order more because all of the companies that make ethernet cables suddenly went out of business and gave all of the ethernet cables to random Chimpanzee's.

I wish Mac OS X could run of non-apple hardware.

Use the search box! Please!

sergentsiler
sergentsiler's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 2007-02-28 11:37
Wish Granted...

it actually does but its illegal, so the cops came to your place and took everything you owned and killed you because apple is evilz >_>

i wish my ip rotated less :/

Zoop

TaffinFoxcroft
TaffinFoxcroft's picture
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Last seen: 9 years 2 months ago
Developer
Joined: 2006-12-14 17:24
Wish granted, but it needed

Wish granted, but it needed supercomputer specs to run it.
(actually, have you heard of a hackintosh?)
I wish C++ was easier to learn.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

jimmy72
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Last seen: 11 years 9 months ago
Joined: 2008-09-21 07:25
but

But then it was harder to remember.

I wish I had an indestructible PDA

I don't have a short attention span. I just...oh look a kitty!

sergentsiler
sergentsiler's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 2007-02-28 11:37
wish granted...

but there was a mistake when it was being made so the guy thought you meant Destructable pda.

i wish i could help with compucucler.com more and sooner :/

Zoop

daBomb69
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Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 2009-02-09 21:49
Wish granted

But then the site was shut down.

I wish Windows was OSS.

Use the search box! Please!

TaffinFoxcroft
TaffinFoxcroft's picture
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Last seen: 9 years 2 months ago
Developer
Joined: 2006-12-14 17:24
wish granted, but it was

wish granted, but it was illegal to compile or to use its trademarks, plus many forms of linux went payware to compensate.
I wish that avocado seeds weren't so hard to grow.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

horusofoz
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Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago
Joined: 2008-04-03 22:45
Wish granted

But they became illegal to grow and consume without proving there for medicinal purposes eg You have leprosy Blum

I wish some millionaire like the guy that supports Ubuntu could donate some cash to PortableApps.com so John could take up development full time and hire some of the main devs like Mozilla : )

PortableApps.com Advocate

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