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But there was 1 exception: the wishes that are made in this thread always had negative repercussions :P.
I wish that I didn't join Facebook.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
But you joined Twitter instead, and someone else took your facebook name and pretended to be you, posting many embarassing photos and comments.
I wish the school didn't have websence.
Simplifying daily life through technology
and lo the school removed webscence filters and there was much downloading of illegal software and multimedia. Everyone responsible, including yourself, got sued for every penny they had and were sent to prison for 5 consequences life sentences, with no eligibility for parole until after at least the 3rd life sentence. You were all imprisoned with murderers and rapists, in keeping with the severity of such heinous crimes.
I wish Disney wouldn't insult my intelligence by putting something on DVD's called "FastPlay", that really isn't fast at all.
Wish Granted. They put something on instead called disney play that played every single trailer on the disc + a hannah montanah song.
Then you get dumped at the menu.
I wish John would speak on the facebook issue
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
You're a sick sick man. I'm gonna have you up in the United Nations for crimes against humanity.
But john had no idea what the facebook issue was, and when he spoke about it, he asked what the problem was. When told what the problem was, he said it could not be fixed. (Seriously, theres a facebook problem?)
I wish there weren't blackout dates for free movie Tuesdays for my Optimum card.
Simplifying daily life through technology
They renamed them Brownout days.
I wish I could freeze time for everyone around me except me so I have infinite time to do whatever I want (and I could unfreeze it with my mind).
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You can freeze time whenever you want (and unfreeze it too). But as you gain that power, half the world starts to gain power too. Some can fly.. others can become invisible. Quickly chaos begins as some of them use their powers evilly. So people demand that laws are created to control the "beasts". A few propositions pass and in the state you live in the government has full impunity over "the beasts". They arrest and kill some of your friends. You freeze time, and run away. But one day, as you are calmly reading a newspaper on a dark alley, a person sneaks in on the back and shoots a tranquilizer dart. When you wake up your in a dark cell, strapped to a chair and with some IV thing that impairs your powers. And that is as you will live for ever...
...wow, I am abusing these corruptions...
I wish my corruptions never ever ever become truth (as I wished before, although the way it was corrupted then was ridicule).
Blue is everything.
Just realized my response didn't make any sense.
But tons of other bad stuff happens, like nuclear warfare and global warming, that make these corruptions seem tame. Also, this corruption doesn't come true due to your wish, but then the wish happens, and new corruptions occur, and in the end, time collapsed due to the paradox.
I wish that youtube wasn't bought by google.
Simplifying daily life through technology
...Google never even considered buying Youtube. But, as Youtube's popularity grows up, more and more videos with copyrighted content are uploaded. This makes all record labels and movie producers boil in anger, so they decide to lawsuit Youtube. And here is the problem: Youtube doesn't make even close to the amount of money necessary to pay the settlement. Things get worse as Youtube eventually admits that there is no possibility of removing all copyrighted contents due to the limitation of such a small business. Now the copyright holders are so mad that the all merge their cases on what is called the trial of the millennium: Media vs Youtube! They demand 2 billion dollars in punitive damages, and as Youtube can't afford the best lawyers nor is the jury smart, Youtube looses the case, the servers get cleaned up, the creators of Youtube have a life sentence for not paying. This makes all other video hosts be afraid, and quickly Google Videos doesn't allow any further uploads, with all videos being deleted in six months, Vimeo and Dailymotion follow the same track, and in few months, the only way for you to upload a video is by owning server space, and it is impossible to have a centralized video search.
I wish that all adverts on the world were truly useful to everybody and not annoying at all, while existing enough ads to support all the currently free services without having to start paying them.
Blue is everything.
Wish granted, but...... Uhhh.......
Ah crud. Your good. However, your wish may have been so good, you may have just *gasp* won the game.
Simplifying daily life through technology
The adverts were so useful and entertaining that everyone only paid attention to them and ignored everything else, leading to the collapse of all other industries except the advertising industry, which then takes over the world, and after it gains total control of all media and absolute power, it becomes absolutely corrupted, and then it force-feeds everyone banal and pointless tripe, which triggers a violent world-wide revolt in which the oppressed rise up and overthrow the advertocracy.
I wish I could go back in time to see 10 years ago.
I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.
You go back in time, and you see yourself, but this distracts you as you cross a road and get hit by a bus. Both instances of you die.
I wish for world peace.
The planet breaks up into 2 pieces, and collapses upon itself.
I wish I was a fish, and I didn't get eaten.
Simplifying daily life through technology
...you see a shiny worm, you eat it and are pulled immediately into land. Some guys were fishing for bait for bigger fishes, and now you are bait for big fishes, even if they don't eat you, you're already screwed up.
I wish that I was the one to fish Stevoisiak so I could put him in a nice aquarium.
Blue is everything.
Nice wish.
Simplifying daily life through technology
But he died.
I wish that I had an easy button.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
Wish Granted, but it was hard to press.
I wish I had wings, with wings.
...but the wings in your wings destabilized you every time you tried to fly, so now they are even more useless than a dog's tail.
I wish for blue.
Blue is everything.
Wish granted, so you were sad.
I wish for a platter.
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
You were transformed into Thomas Platter (the Elder), the 16th century Swiss humanist scholar, but then you were forced to live his entire life as a Goatherd, Travelling Scholar, Student, Rope-Maker, Hebrew Professor, Armour-Bearer, Schoolmaster, Warrior, Professor in Basle, Printer, and then Professor again before you die.
The Autobiography of Thomas Platter
I wish JTH could get some GSOC (Google Summer of Code) help on the platform so we can finally get all the improvements implemented and released.
I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.
Now this thread gets active, after I left... lol
Wish granted. Unfortunately, the GSOC volunteers had no idea what they were doing and accidentally added a zillion bugs to the platform. To cap their mishaps, they somehow deleted all of the portable apps from SourceForge while they were trying to upload the latest platform version.
(Hope this never happens)
I wish I had more time...
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
Wish Granted, But you still had to much to do (its way to easy :()
I wish I had 175 dollars (also way to easy)
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
Wish Granted, but it's useless since you live in Japan.
I wish OliverK was a donkey.
Wish granted. You're in charge of taking care of him; unfortunately for you, he now has a lasting grudge against you for making that wish, and he gives you as much trouble as possible until eventually you repent. }:)
I wish I didn't have to rebuild all the KidSafe binaries... quite an interesting problem right now.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
Shouldn't have done this is the first place. Sorry.
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
Wish granted. You hire a intern how rebuilds the binaries for you
But the intern wants more then you have, so he(she? take your pic :)) swaps your copyright for theirs and sells it and makes a million dollars.
Wow, that was hard.
I wish I had a million yen (since I'm in japan now?)
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
(OT question: do I even have a copyright to the KidSafe binaries? They're under the GPL, famously known as "copyleft"...)
Wish Granted. You move again, this time to Antarctica, where the penguins enjoy your yen, especially for breakfast.
I wish (really, seriously) I didn't have to rewrite KidSafe... those Unicode API's are killing me.Wish truly granted - I found the source of the crashes and fixed it, so KidSafe has full Unicode support without needing a rewrite. Does this mean the game ends, since the corruption chain broke? }:)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
Instead, Micrsoft sued you for incorrect usage of their APIs and forced you to rewrite Windows. The court declared this as cruel and unusual, so they shipped you to China to do it }:).
I wish I already finished all my research notecards (it's what we're doing in place of LA Midterms :-()
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You finished all your research notecards and got an A+ on them, with some great teacher comments. Then, you woke up and realized you'd been dreaming.
I wish I had more time to spend on portabilizing apps, since I'm about to enter another hectic school week with little/no free time.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
You got sentenced to death in Zimbabwe (sorry to pick that one) and you got plenty of time to code in heaven/heck/valhalla/whatever afterlife you please. Unfortunately you had no Internet.
I wish that I got a 100 on my band test (in real life, without doing anything unethical).
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
Wish granted, but unfortunately the band teacher decided 10,000 was the maximum score so you failed anyway.
I wish I didn't have to sleep at all. (That probably sounds dumb to you guys, and I know it is, but I could save 7-8 hours a day if I didn't have to sleep)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
Off-topic: It is actually possible (without the dying part
). Search Google for the uberman and everyman sleep schedule.
Also, you should see this: Polyphasic Sleep
Uberman sleep schedule, for example, is composed of 6 naps each with 20 minutes during the day. These 20 minute naps do include all phases of sleep when the person eventually gets used to them.
Blue is everything.
Thanks for that article! I just checked it out, and it looks like those people have the same problem I eventually do: performance degradation. They also eventually have to pick an engaging activity to stay awake, something that invariably plagues me during an all-night Calculus session.
I should probably just surrender and live like other (normal) people before I turn into some kind of alien/human hybrid, eh?
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
(Duh) You died.
I wish that more people would visit my website (even though I'm pretty happy with 1500...).
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
So many people visited your site that the server crashed.
I wish the radio station I'm listening to would play my favorite song - they only play it like once a week.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
But that song was now the only song they played. All day. All night. 24 Hours a day. And your radio is now stuck on that one station. Forever...
I wish that sega will not screw up Sonic 4, like they did with Sonic Unleashed.
Simplifying daily life through technology
Sega never released Sonic 4 (Duke Nukem Forever, anybody?
), so the couldn't screw it up.
I wish I could get a better grasp on a bunch of Calculus concepts that have been eluding me for weeks.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
...but you forget all the basic concepts of basic math, thus making your calculus knowledge useless.
I wish everybody saw how useless facebook, myspace and twitter are for their common uses (although I admit they may be useful for small specific things).
Blue is everything.
(I second your wish, and add one more thing: I wish Facebook, Myspace and Twitter completely went under, because they're so totally useless and dangerous - viruses are all over them. Unfortunately, to follow the rules, I've got to corrupt your wish.
)
Wish granted. Unfortunately, an even more useless "service" was established where almost everyone frittered away all their time. Even PA members were affected by this addictive, time-wasting, brainwashing site, and eventually every useful thing had its membership drained away and died. The few remaining people with functional brains blamed you for taking down the mildly-time-wasting sites, and you were exiled to a place without computers.
I wish I could figure out what's going on with PAL & moving multiple files.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
But you accidentally added an o to one of the Kernel calls, and when you distributed it, hackers all over the world found that line to be the perfect zero-day exploit they were looking for, and you got thrown into "jail" (it gets much worse than that).
I wish that I didn't have to sort through the entirety of CMSMatrix to find a half-decent CMS and maybe a decent hosting site (I'm down to the L's so far).
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
Quantum physics proves that there is no CMS that is minimally usable by you. If you use a CMS once more, the entire universe will blow up. The same happens with hosting.
I wish nails would properly cut themselves according to the desires of their "owners".
Blue is everything.
Wish Granted, but the you accidentally banged your foot with a hammer.
I wish I knew why they call Windows, PC's.
You were never meant to know that, so learning it caused a system failure in the Universe. Everything instantly went dark; you were blamed for the calamity and ordered to fix it at once (especially because it started getting pretty cold with the Sun put out). You couldn't, and everyone died.
I wish for another computer, one I can run Ubuntu /w/ VBox on, so I can do malware analysis without jeopardizing my normal system.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
But then a major virus was released for Ubuntu that rendered your new system useless and you had to your older PC to analyze it but that because infected with other viruses because it's Windows and so you ended up with two useless PCs.
I wish people would stop asking for the same apps to be portabilized over and over (like iTunes for example).
Instead they started asking different apps over and over, all of which were for WINME.
I wish I knew magic.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You accidentally severed your assistant's head and you were charged with murder and traumatizing very young children. Thus, you went to jail.
I wish I could remember more dreams I had while asleep.
Blue is everything.
But (as scientifically proven) your dreams started to get more fragmented and you never got to see the end of the love story }:).
I wish I was an awesome French horn player.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You became the best French horn player of all time. You went on and made Millions and you had a great life, people from all over the world came to hear you. California state named a city after you and there you didn't have to spend a dime. However, it all ended one sunny afternoon when you where driving to a concert. A driver of a Chevy S10 going 101mph slammed into your driver door and you went flying into a gas station that burst into flames when your car hit a pump. You were killed instantly.
I wish for a TRAXXAS E-REV0 Brushless w/ 2.4Gh Radio System
Load the App and Play :evil:
1st read my signature
2nd to learn how to make fully LClock portable
wish granted. But Windows 8 came out and everybody got a new computer and rockdock + LClock portable wouldn't work.
I wish I had a hamburger.
BTW, you are supposed to corrupt the last wish that was made. As for portabilizing stuff, I think you've been given links, but check out the geurilla guide and also the portable app launcher that's running around somewhere (its been drinking to much WINE :))
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
Wish Granted, but I just made the 500th post. (Ha ha! :P)
I wish for a cheeseburger.
but it's made with day old blue cheese that was left out in the sun for 8 hours. You get food poisoning and die.
I wish to colonize Mars.
not if it was this hamburger
"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."
Dare you to eat it.
Well... I butchered that <a> tag :/
I dont eat Mc donalds
"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."
Yep, that is prime, grade a, ground anchor tag right there.
12 year old Anchor Patty anyone?
At least I spelled hamburger right
If we get off topic in the Off topic forum, are we still getting off topic or are we getting even more one it?
"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."
You spelled "not" correctly too, so it wasn't not, not-wrong.
Bravo!
O.o are you sure I'm not, not, not-wrong?
"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."
three nots don't make a right?
No, three (k)nots make a tied-up piece of string!
}:)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
lol
"It's just an online installer. It's not going to mug you.", JTH
"The shell is the key to unlock Linux's greatest advantages."
but the Martians show up and bad things happen to your colony.
I wish Microsoft actually had some good documentation on their API calls, preferably with an example or two.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
But the API calls turned out to be handled in such a horrible way, they were nearly impossible to manage, even with documentation.
I wish I was better at Team Fortess 2.
Simplifying daily life through technology
You were the best in the world at Team Fortress 2, completely untouchable! unfortunately that meant nobody wanted to play against you, and consequently nobody wanted to be on your team either.
I wish to see the Northern Lights.
but the second you saw them you went blind.
i wish i could get my home server working again
Zoop
but the rest of the Internet stops working.
I wish for more time. (Easy to corrupt, but always my biggest wish)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
wish granted, but you became bored and wished for more to do!
Too many lonely hearts in the real world
Too many bridges you can burn
Too many tables you can't turn
Don't wanna live my life in the real world
No corruption.
I wish that I made an awesome 3d animated short.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
Your short is so awesomely real that people run away screaming in terror.
I wish for something nobody can guess.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
But then your sprite bottle guessed it. (You said nobody :P).
I wish that awesome ideas came out of the sky for me.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
Unfortunately, the ideas are very hard, and one happens to hit you on the head. Ouch!
I wish REAL Studio didn't have accessibility bugs.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
All the bugs were worked out, so that it was simple for anyone to use regardless of ability, but then you had a Luddite epiphany, and chucked your computer in favor of rote memorization and shouting really loudly.
I wish (again) that the new menu was released and included categories, file associations, and the updater configured to DL pre-set app collections.
I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you.
But then nobody had anything to look forward to (admit it, we're all a bit like kids on Christmas Eve
), so eventually everybody left.
I wish I didn't have to do a certain very long, very boring job I'm about to take on.
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
You're already 3½ seconds into it.
I wish that I was awesome.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You're already 3½ seconds into it.
I wish that I was awesome.
Insert original signature here with Greasemonkey Script.
You become 2x more awesome, but everybody else becomes 4x more awesome so it doesn't matter.
I wish I had my laptop back (currently in for repairs - I'm stuck running from a USB stick, true PA style, and today I got stuck using a bloated, junky, bug-riddled version of IE because I was in a place where I wasn't allowed to use the USB stick - what a pain)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
You got your laptop back but it was just an empty shell. The cowboys that were supposed to be repairing it totally trashed it and so removed the evidence, claiming it was like that when you brought it in for repairs.
I wish that I didn't have to wish.
Why, those dirty cowboys ... ! *brings out battery of lawyers* }:)
Wish granted - you don't post anymore on this thread.
I wish my USB drive was faster - it's woefully slow, especially for Fx and OOo. (Not surprised, just not happy)
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
I developed a nano technology that made your USB drive 24 times faster than before. To show your gratitude you undid your previous corruption thereby allowing me to post on this thread once more. Unfortunately for you, as has a habit of happening in this thread, your decision came back to bite you in the @$$...
I wish computerfreaker had a major break-out of acne that was removable only with sandpaper.
You wished almost exactly two weeks too late, as I'm just clearing out the last of a bad bout of acne.
(but no, I didn't use sandpaper!)
I wish Darkbee would behave himself. }:)
JK!
"The question I would like to know, is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. All we know about it is that the Answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."
He stopped posting.
I Wish for a new 2010 Ford Muustang Shelby GT500.
(if your ganna wish... Wish big.)
Load the App and Play :evil:
You got a brand new one hot off the production line, unfortunately it was a state-of-the-art hybrid designed to run off of methane gas, and so consequently it smelled like a bad case of flatulence every time you came to a stop.
I wish for a Tesla Roadster.
p.s.
You can't keep a good bee down for long.
you now have to be by a constant source of power due to your car being powered by a Tesla Coil.
I wish i had more anime!
Mir now owns TokioTV in Japan and owns all Anime series which get transmitted via them. Furthermore, MIR was granted admin access to every Anime-hosting website, including but not limited to RealityLapse, Ani-Haven, Animea and many more. He also got an exclusive access to pre-release versions of all Manga he likes, as well as exclusive access to cut-out, never-before-seen scenes and episodes from various Anime series. However, all Anime is in Japanese!
In order to follow the storyline, you need to learn Japanese, or get a translator... 
I wish for
World peace... Scratch that, I wish I was a rich tycoonMy posts are old and likely no longer relevant.
Unfortunately you wished to a Japanese Anime genie and he didn't translate correctly so he ended up turning you into a titchy raccoon.
I wish I was more motivated to sort out all the paperwork sitting on my desk. *sigh*
Damn that Google Translate
IRS agent just called you and said they have a warrant to search your paperwork, since you somehow paid them 0.0005 $ less than you should have. Motivation is at hand, since somewhere inside that pile of papers you have on your desk was 1 unreported and untaxed winning ticket from horse-racing. Unless you find it, it's jail-time...
Search, Darkbee, search 
I wish I had a raccoon-to-English translator...
My posts are old and likely no longer relevant.
You got your raccoon to English translator but every part of your computer was re-programed to racconeese and you couldn't fix it because the translator was destroyed.
I wish I could divide by zero.
Load the App and Play :evil:
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